Today’s Object Is A Vacuum Cleaner
In Search of a Better Vacuum Cleaner
In Search of a Better Church
Gotta love those vacuum cleaner commercials.
The spokesmen are usually just that—men. I can’t speak for the whole world, but in my little corner, it’s the woman who mans the vacuum.
This woman has a long, mostly “hate affair” with vacuum cleaners. I wanted one desperately when I was five years old. It seemed to be my calling.
I got a pretty pink one for Christmas. My toy vacuum cleaner actually worked just like those silent ones used in restaurants. But as I came of age, I came to realize that real vacuum cleaners are fraught with design flaws—maybe because they are designed by men. The fancier they got, the more problems.
One brand makes sure you know that their namesake patented the technology. He’ll benefit from every sale for a few decades. His vacuums cost twice what other vacuums cost.
Designer engineers may test the suction technology, but do they use their vacuums every day? Do they know that the power of the suction isn’t everything? Do they lug them up and down stairs? Do they spend most of their vacuuming time knocking into furniture and wrestling with the power cord?
Come to think, what happened to the power cord?
Have you noticed the vacuum cleaners being pushed around by men in those TV commercials don’t have any power cords? Look! They swivel. They roll. What fun! They have no power cords. I want one of those!
Power cords create half the work.
Cords too long get in the way and get sucked into the machine. They wrap themselves around table legs and threaten to topple floor lamps. You try to get the cord off the floor and swing it across your shoulder. Now it is knocking things off tables.
Cords too short and they are a pain. Just when you think you’re nearly done, the power cord reaches its limit. You must stop and search for a new power source.
Canister vacuums are hard to find these days. Never a good idea. Push with one hand. Pull with the other. The original “pushmepullyou.”
I’m waiting for the day when a vacuum cleaner is designed by the people who actually use them. When that day comes, they will be wireless (just like power tools sold to men). They will not require the user to take them apart and clean the filters after each use. Whose idea is that, anyway? They will be low to the ground for reaching the dustiest place in the house. Do you guys know where that is? (Under the beds.) They will have settings that don’t require you to hoist the cleaner to the kitchen counter to read them. The hose will not fall out every three minutes. The attachments will be easy to use and won’t store where they add to the weight of using the cleaner.
And what does this have to do with church?
Church is an attractive concept that has gone awry in the hands of those with “patent” interests. Some day the church will be designed by the people who actually worship and volunteer their services. We’ll stop pretending power cords don’t exist in the perfect world we imagine. And then those power cords will be replaced with internal power sources that actually accomplish something!
Then, I’ll volunteer as spokesperson!
photo credit: duesentrieb via photopin cc