Growing the Church Among the Discontented
Have you ever noticed how the restaurant server has a knack of asking if everything is to your liking just as you’ve filled your mouth with a forkful of tough meat?
Similarly, the car dealer might call and ask how you are enjoying your new car a week into your purchase, not three months down the road, when you really know something about the car’s performance.
People want to hear kind words and good things about their work. Churches and church leaders are no different. They tend to identify happy souls and and engage them. The unhappy are neglected and eventually will not be in church at all.
There are more people not in church than in church!
Our faith and Christian relationships are precious. Once broken, repairing them is costly and difficult work.
Churches work hard at seeming to care. Leaders seek agreement and talk about their successful relationships, while the discontented are given labels that muffle their voices.
Church leaders talk about processes of “mutual discernment” — the hottest buzz words in the church at the moment.
Often, the process of mutual discernment has the regional body unanimous on one side of the fence and the congregation unanimous on the other side of the fence with neither side reaching to open the gate. Yet reports will tell of the process of mutual discernment that resulted in a one-sided decree.
Lay people may have to put up with this on the job. They will feel differently about it in church where they are the shareholders.
Dealing with discontent is a steady and ongoing process and involves sincere, dedicated communication. Discernment is a process of listening and responding. It is hard work. To claim a process of discernment, while neglecting the necessary work, is dishonest.
If congregants sense that their concerns don’t matter, they have a remedy. It’s a multistep process.
- They complain publicly.
- They complain bitterly in private.
- They keep their billfolds in their pockets.
- They stay home.
- They continue to complain, but not in church.
The earlier the church intervenes and shows true concern, the easier the process of reconciliation becomes. Left unchecked, discontent will spin out of control and damage the whole people of God.
Discontented Christians have their grievances steadily on their minds. Their faith and way of life are under attack. They may no longer be attending church, but they are probably talking to their neighbors and friends at the bowling alley and grocery store. While pastors are feeling warm and cozy, surrounded by their closest supporters, the foundation of the community they are serving is eroding in forums they cannot control.
What is eluding many in the Church is that there have never been more forums for the discontented.
It was never more important for the Church to learn to deal with people who have a beef with them.
Wise church leaders spend time with the discontented. That’s where church growth will happen. That’s where the strength of the future Church lies.
Look for the rose in your crown of thorns. It’s what reconciliation is all about.