As a people, Americans have become suspicious and xenophobic. We live in a world that recommends background checks and fosters credit checks for simplest of reasons. These attitutudes are bound to manifest in church life.

But church life should be different. We should be welcoming the people with spotty backgrounds. Christ died for them! The least we can do is welcome them into His church!

Most churches describe themselves as friendly. Some church web sites describe themselves as “truly friendly.” Many churches post a generic sign “All Welcome.”

Friendliness, however, is a beauty that can only be measured by the eye of the beholder. If visitors to your church leave feeling they were wallflowers, observers of friendliness, it is not hospitality.

Redeemer Ambassadors visited 38 churches in the last 18 months. We have experience as recipients of church hospitality. We think this is an area of church life that needs to be addressed.

Hospitality, once part of the fabric of American life, no longer seems to come naturally. It may have to be taught and nurtured. Even pastors, whom we presume received training in evangelism, seem to be awkward in greeting church visitors.

Some churches have assigned “greeters.” But the gauntlet of greeters characteristically do little more than hand you a bulletin. We suspect that visitors are rare in some congregations and that leads to a bit of rustiness.

In several of the churches we visited, the pastor disappeared after the service and did not greet people at the door. At times the pastor was present in the fellowship area but stood along the wall and waited for people to come to him/her.

While some pastors pointed us to guest books to sign, most never introduced themselves to us or asked our names. After 38 visits, only one pastor followed up with a phone call after our visit. Another returned a call when one of our ambassadors called him.

Some churches seemed to have fellowship going on somewhere else in the building. The congregation disappeared quickly after worship, failing to invite us to join. In many cases, people walked by in the narthex and never made eye contact. In one instance, when we approached them and asked a simple question such as the location of a restroom, they responded, “Oh, we thought you knew someone here” or “We thought you were here for the baptism.” Assumptions block hospitality.

The number of churches/pastors who exhibited true hospitality are so few as to be memorable to us. We suspect that if others were greeted the way we were in these churches that they would return. Here are a few efforts we remember and appreciated as visitors:

• When a pastor personally invited us to fellowship, accompanied us and introduced us to a few people (one church visit).
• When a pastor asked if he could meet with us sometime during the week (one church visit).
• When a member took the time to give us a tour of their church and told us something of their history (three church visits).
• When a lay member sent us a handwritten thank you note for our visit (one church visit).
• When a member sat next to us and pointed things out in the bulletin (one church visit).
• When we left knowing at least one member’s name (a few times).
• When members of a church offered to help us (more than just pray) and followed through (three church visits).
• When a member engaged us in extensive conversation that was about us as much as about them (six visits).
• When congregation members prompted the worship leader to introduce visitors (two visits).
• When a pastor asked us to join their congregation (one church visit).

Here are four easy resolutions your church can make in 2012 to become a more welcoming, hospitable church:

• Make sure each visitor knows the name of at least one church member before they leave.
• Make sure each visitor is addressed by name before they leave.
• Make sure each visitor receives a direct and specific invitation to a church activity. It can be next week’s worship or some other event. Most people report that they became involved in a congregation because someone invited them! 
• Contact your visitor within five days of their visit with a phone call or greeting card. Make it as personal as possible.