Our Ambassador visits have revealed some stereo-types of small churches. We heard some professional leaders referring to them mockingly as “old-folks homes.”

Offensive as this terminology is — some congregations are aging. Unfortunately, leadership mindset sees this as the end of ministry. Pastors adopt, sometimes with the encouragement of denominational leadership, a caretaker approach to serving. There are no plans for growing the church or any reason to look for mission opportunity. They are playing a waiting game.

It may be up to the laity to turn things around.

Our ambassadors have seen some small, aging churches making the transition to becoming welcoming places for families and children. They invariably have only supply pastors or part-time professional leadership. Imagine what might happen if the leadership saw this as a door opening for ministry.

Our own church made this transition and grew from a church of seniors to a church of young families.

Our transition began when we noticed a number of children returning week after week without parents. At first a couple of girls (about aged 10) came and sat in the front row. After a few weeks, they brought an older brother (about 12). Soon they started bringing younger children.

We weren’t prepared to deal with this. That’s not the way church works! Parents bring their children to Church and Sunday School.

Things have changed!

We have noticed some similarities in other churches we visited. The early focus of our visits was the urban church. In cities, children pass the church as they walk home from school. Curiosity brings them back. Yes, their parents should accompany them. But children are playing the cards they have been dealt. They may come from homes with only one over-taxed parent. The parent may know the children have gone to church and consider it baby-sitting, or the parent may be at work unaware of that their children have turned off the TV and wandered out on their own. In the worst case, the parents may not care. In that case, the church must not turn their backs on the children because they have arrived on their doorstep in an unconventional way. Small churches with aging memberships can be particularly attractive to children who are seeking.

Young children have some things in common with older folks. They are crossing paths in life. Children are dependent growing into independence and older folks are independent growing into dependency. Young children often like the attention of seniors who can understand them in a way their parents don’t. They have time for them when their parents are preoccupied. It is validating to seniors.

Congregations can see this as a nuisance that must curtailed, or they can see it as outreach coming to them.

There are good reasons to discourage unaccompanied children.

• They do not contribute to the offering.
• They do not behave.
• They are lively, energetic and strong and may seem threatening to the frail.
• They may be there only only for donuts at fellowship.
• Raising them is the responsibility of the parents.

Or

• They may, in their own ways, be seeking.
• They may enjoy the music.
• Older children (as young as 11 or 12) may have been left in charge of yournger siblings and are following an instinct to parent them.
• They might might feel part of a family of God when their own family is dysfunctional.
• Raising them is the responsibility of the community of God.

Here are some first steps to take when children start coming to church by themselves.

• Make sure an adult sits nearby, perhaps in the pew behind them.
• Teach the church service. Pastors can give a brief explanation as your worship moves along. The adult sitting near them can whisper in their ears. “We are now going to stand to honor the reading of the Gospel that tells us about the life of Jesus Christ.”
• Engage the children in conversation. Find out where they live and who their parents are.
• Plan to visit their homes with the pastor. You may be hitting a brick wall, but you may find a parent receptive to help. At the very least, the parents should know with whom their children spend Sunday mornings.
• Pray for them. Assign each child to an adult as a prayer partner. Engage the children in the prayer if possible, but they don’t need to know you are praying for them!