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Bullying in the Church

A Valuable Post for Church People

Today 2×2 references Seth Godin’s blog offering for today,
Bullying Is Theft.

Seth writes about bullying—something all church people are against in theory but often fail to recognize in practice. That’s how bullies thrive!

As Seth points out, good bullies have a knack for dehumanizing their targets. Victims’ cries, protests, and pleas cannot be heard. They are kooks and malcontents. “We have to trust the wisdom of our leaders” is the defense—even if it makes no sense. There is something (usually unnamed) very wrong with victims. They deserve what they are getting.

“Why don’t they accept things and move on?” is the easy question which is designed to justify their “moving on.” They count on people buckling under threats. Wounds may never heal but at least the damaged goods are out of the way. Bullies have a pretty good system!

2×2 has written about this before. Church people have a difficult time discerning that this is a topic that might include them. Ironically, the Church occasionally gives workshops about bullying, failing to see the characteristics among their own.

Bullying behavior in the church is wrapped up in a beautiful package of tradition, status and carefully chosen quotations from scripture to camouflage the ugliness. Hard to see. Hard to argue. Hard to stop.

Ask the hundreds of victims of clergy pedophilia. It took decades to bring the perpetrators to justice. The victims suffered the whole time, desperate for the people they trusted to take action on their behalf.

Bullying behavior reaches beyond this abominable reality. It permeates church structure, silencing the innovators and creatives —limiting them to acceptable creativity (good organ music). Even the Lutheran church with its proud heritage of sainthood and equality of all believers loses its way. If those who recognize the bullying move on, as even Seth suggests is one solution, the church is the loser. Congregations become similar in scope, style and service. Only the names and faces change. New people. Old roles.

Sound familiar?

Perhaps the church should calculate the cost of failing to deal with bullying in the church. Seth’s arguments are persuasive in this regard. It may very well be the root cause of mainline decline. Bullying in the church thins the ranks of the creative—the thinkers, the questioners, the givers, the risk-takers (which every organization needs!). It is theft!

Read Seth’s post today and ask, “Have our church leaders treated member churches this way?”

And then read Showdown on Midvale Avenue and a related post.

Rejection in the church. It’s all too common.

You’ve seen the signs. Most churches have one. “All Welcome.”

Easier said than done.

Lucas Cranach Painting

A topic in a popular church forum today discusses inclusion—specifically that of the disabled in the life of a congregation. The author cites the profound sense of rejection experienced by members of a group home for the mentally challenged who were asked to not return. You know why — they were different and differences are unsettling. The Church loves neat and tidy.

Rejection by the Church is all too common. Frequently, the rejected have no voice. They must rely on an outside advocate. Fortunately for the members of that group home, they found an advocate who helped them find love inside the church’s walls.

Rejection isn’t a one-time incident. It stings forever.

The members of Redeemer have experienced rejection. Big time and long-term. The Lutheran Church locked us out, literally and figuratively. Having rejected us from Christian community, they continue attacks on our members.

The increasingly common scenario has become a process which, as Bishop Claire Burkat of the Southeastern Pennsylvania Synod of the ELCA attempts to justify, usually “goes smoothly.”

What makes this horrific process seem smooth? Well-orchestrated use of the age-old weapon of the Church — fear.

The process is designed to be as pain-free as possible for the perpetrators. The pain of the victims: there’s an app for that!—the closing worship service which even has an official liturgy.

Church officials gather in full clerical regalia as the emotions of the faithful are put on display. The swelling tones of the soon to be moth-balled organ drive the nails into the coffins of a faithful worshiping community. The doors are locked, remaining bank accounts secured, and no further thought is given to the people. Neat and tidy.

Most abandoned church members never find a new church. They are gone and forgotten. The elderly are left without the support of the church they served faithfully in more capable years. Newcomers are left to feel inadequate — like fools for buying into the welcoming message. The clergy return to their parishes to preach the message of love, forgetting that love is a verb.

It’s not OK, fellow Lutherans. Damage continues long after you walk away with the spoils.

  • Relationship with the surrounding community is damaged.
  • Relationship with the faithful is damaged.
  • Families are damaged.
  • Children are damaged.
  • Youth, at a turning point in their lives, are abandoned by the church that had cradled and nurtured them.
  • The disenfranchised (often major participants in community worship) are abandoned with little recourse.
  • Faith is damaged.
  • Economic and social damages extend beyond the community.
  • Stewardship is damaged. Any member of a small congregation can wonder if their offerings will be confiscated.
  • Individual Christians can wonder if their years of devotion had any value.

The process is a slap in Christ’s face.

We’ve listened to the excuses of the clergy as if the gospel they preach happens without effort—as if Christ had not died for them. Most laity seem unaware of what’s going on.

Redeemer can tell you how it feels to be rejected by the Church, to be vilified for our beliefs.

Faith makes us strong. Why do we act as if we are powerless?

When a Church Makes Mistakes

“There will be dangers, and we will surely make mistakes.”

Bishop Claire Burkat of the Southeastern Pennsylvania Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church  in America (SEPA, ELCA), wrote these words to rostered leaders a couple of weeks ago.

She is talking about the future. It is also part of SEPA’s past.

Bishop Burkat’s message warned leaders that they don’t quite know what they are doing or where they are going in today’s religious climate. We suspect that has been the case for a while. There have been needless and costly casualties as SEPA leadership reached their newfound epiphany.

We all make mistakes. Church members, clergy, congregations, and yes, even bishops make mistakes.

Our question for the bishop and other SEPA Lutherans is this: When, at last, you’ve identified an action as a “mistake,” what are you going to do about it?

Redeemer and 2×2 are in an excellent position to predict the future.

When leadership mistakes happen within the part of God’s Kingdom called SEPA, the rostered clergy are protected at all cost. The volunteer laity shoulder the blame. We cannot move comfortably into the uncharted future as long as this continues.

By now, it should be dawning on SEPA congregations that the actions they endorsed in East Falls— if not by vote, by neglect — are a huge mistake. And now SEPA is warning that more mistakes are likely.

So far, SEPA congregations have behaved as if they are powerless. The annihilation of one little congregation has been a focal point of Bishop Burkat’s entire term. By setting out to destroy one expendable congregation, she has weakened the whole Church.

The Church must practice four pillars of church community—repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation and atonement. Without these, the church will crumble.

What might have happened if SEPA and Bishop Burkat had practiced the techniques of listening and discernment she references in her latest letter to clergy? What might be happening in East Falls if SEPA actions had been motivated by love — which is the primary message of the Gospel? What might be happening in East Falls if SEPA had worked with Redeemer in the interdependent relationship their constitutions call for?

The Redeemer/SEPA conflict was needless. Once started there were numerous roads toward peace. Redeemer suggested many possibilities in letter after ignored letter. Every decision made by SEPA leadership for the last four years regarding Redeemer has escalated conflict with no end in sight. Faithful laity were treated as enemies from the get go.

We do not have to polish our crystal ball to predict that this is what SEPA congregations can expect if they are the victims of anticipated synodical mistakes.

  • Your clergy will disappear. Laity will be blamed for all consequences and have no one to speak for them.
  • Members will be named in personal lawsuits, their lives affected for years after being banished from their church.
  • Property and assets will be valued while people are thrown away.
  • Your congregation and its members will be called names, mocked, threatened, strong-armed, and dragged through the courts with every expectation that you submit to bullying.
  • No stone will be left unturned in pursuit of evidence to justify actions — after the fact.
  • Your members will be treated as if their faith and dedication are subservient to synod’s wishes made in greedy isolation.
  • Your denomination will use the full power of the courts in their attack against your members, while taking full advantage of their First Amendment protection of “separation of church and state.”

Maundy Thursday is eight weeks away. The imagery of Maundy Thursday is Christ in humility.

Church leaders like to display their humility ceremonially on this sacred occasion.  If this humility is genuine, the doors of Redeemer should be unlocked and our bishop should preside over a service, kneeling to wash the feet of Redeemer members. That would be the start of a new Church that practices what it preaches — repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation and atonement.

IMAGE SOURCE PAGE: http://laughing-listening-learning.blogspot.com/2011_03_01_archive.html

Head-in-the-Sand Leadership Fosters Bullying in the ELCA

A random click on the computer opened a link to a news story published December 19, 2009, just as the ELCA was beginning to reel over the vote to ordain active homosexuals.

The story was printed in the Washington Times and quotes an ELCA bishop and ELCA Presiding Bishop Mark Hanson, along with several others on both sides of the issue.

The story reported alleged acts of intimidation against dissenting clergy who were contemplating withdrawal. Reading this story two years later is illuminating.

The article reads on the subject of intimidation: “I would deny that completely,” said Bishop Gary Wollersheim of the ELCA’s Northern Illinois Synod. “That’s not happening in northern Illinois. I’m sure that’s not happening anywhere in the country. I have done the exact opposite. I have assured clergy, rostered leaders, that hold different opinions on the decisions that [neither] the synod nor I will discriminate against them in any way. The last thing that I would do as pastor of the synod would [be to] bully somebody or threaten them.”

The story moves on to Presiding Bishop Hanson, the foremost leader in the ELCA. He too denied that intimidation was happening. He went on to question that there was any split in the denomination and deflected responsibility by criticizing the media.

Two years have passed and the split has become obvious. Hundreds of churches have voted to leave the ELCA.

That’s not the only thing Bishop Hanson got wrong!

Bishop Hanson continues to defend the status quo, claiming no authority to deal with parish complaints of misconduct.

Redeemer congregation (sponsors of 2×2) turned to him for help with serious intimidation problems. He responded to our first letter in 2008 by telling us of his high regard for the bishop. He failed to respond to subsequent letters sent monthly over the next ten months. Recently, after a long silence and serious conflict escalation, one of our members wrote again and received the predictable response — the defense of church leadership with no apparent regard for the effects their actions have on laity. 

Perhaps Bishop Hanson and the ELCA bishops do not understand intimidation.

Intimidation is:

  • When a bishop tells a congregation that they must agree to call a recommended pastor or they won’t have a pastor for a very long time. (Redeemer/SEPA 2001)
  • When a bishop insists a congregation vote repeatedly on a call question, hoping the congregation will finally vote the “right” way. (Redeemer/SEPA 2001)
  • When a synod representative visits prospective members and discourages them from joining one congregation in favor of another. (Redeemer/SEPA 1998)
  • When a pastor visits with the bishop’s office and returns to give the congregation 10 days notice by email or never steps foot again in the church. (Redeemer/SEPA 2006 and 2008)
  • When a bishop has a lawyer sitting at her right side (literally) at her first meeting with a congregation. (Redeemer/SEPA 2007)
  • When a bishop calls a meeting without consulting church leaders and arrives with a party of ten others (not announced as coming), including a lawyer and a locksmith positioned out of sight. (Redeemer/SEPA 2008)
  • When a bishop refuses to meet with elected congregational leaders insisting on meeting with the entire congregation. (Redeemer/SEPA, characteristically)
  • When a bishop, with no discussion, has a lawyer inform a congregation by fax that they are officially terminated and have no voice or vote at an upcoming Synod Assembly. (Redeemer/SEPA, 2009)
  • When a bishop goes into court carrying the First Amendment flag of immunity (Separation of Church and State) but proceeds to use the full force of the courts against lay members. (Redeemer/SEPA 2008-present)
  • When a bishop locks faithful members out of the church. (Redeemer/SEPA 2009-present)
  • When a bishop commits the resources of 160 churches to attack lay members of one congregation. (Redeemer/SEPA 2008 to present)
    and furthermore —

When other congregations and pastors share in confidence that they disagree with synod’s actions but no one dares to speak up — they are the bystanders who allow intimidation to reign. 

When a presiding bishop is made aware of such incidents and glibly dismisses them, that’s poor leadership. Most of the items in the above list were shared. 

It is just such apathy that creates the bullying tragedies. We in Pennsylvania are watching the esteemed leaders of our largest state-run school fall because good people failed to pay attention to complaints from the lowly. When will our church get the message? 

It’s time to clean up the Mutual Admiration Society which seems to define the Council of Bishops under Bishop Hanson’s leadership.

Intimidation happens, Bishop Hanson, and it is happening on your watch.

If the ELCA’s recent resolution to fight bullying is to have any teeth, the ELCA must practice what it preaches. 

God’s work; our hands.  

A suggestion: The ELCA should create an ombudsman system which was used in predecessor bodies. If our leaders are not going to listen and respond, the faithful need a forum less cumbersome, less biased and more capable of carefully investigating issues raised by congregations, individual clergy and lay members. Failure to find a way to respond to complaints may lead to the same sort of plight the Roman Catholic Church is experiencing. Let’s learn from that.

Redeemer, East Falls, leads in addressing key ELCA issues

At August’s (2011) national ELCA Church Assembly, some memorials were given special attention by the delegates. Three were issues Redeemer had already addressed!

1. Expanding Multicultural Ministry 

The Assembly addressed concern that the ELCA has not yet reached the goal of 10 percent members who are people of color or primary language other than English.

Two thirds of Redeemer members were immigrants from East Africa. Members and regular attendees and supporters hail from six continents. SEPA Synods response to our congregational mission work was first to try to stop us. When we told Bishop Claire Burkat of our plans to reach out to friends and extended family of current Redeemer members of African descent (2006), she responded, “You are not allowed to do that.” A year later, when our outreach resulted in dozens of new members, Bishop Burkat attempted to divide our church racially by suggesting black members go to another church.  When that proved offensive to the entire congregation they attempted to force us into closure regardless of our membership and vitality. They sued our congregation. Although some of this behavior appears to be racist, their law suits against the congregation are more equitable. They evicted all of us — black and white — from our building. They chose both a white member and a black member to sue personally. In fact, the African member they chose to sue was served with the court papers on the same day he received his permanent residency papers. Welcome to America!

2. Acknowledge the International Year for People of African Descent

The Assembly asked the presiding bishop to issue a statement acknowledging this special designation. The stated purpose is to encourage congregations to affirm the gifts of people of African descent . . . and to examine factors that keep people of color and/or whose primary language is other than English from experiencing the fullness of leadership and inclusion in the ELCA.

Redeemer encouraged full participation of our growing East African community. Our worship services reflect their culture. Both English and Swahili-speaking members enjoy singing hymns in different languages. Prayers were often offered by a member whose first language was French. Worship and Bible study leadership was shared and when “black” membership outnumbered “white” membership, every effort was made to assure appropriate representation on our congregation council.

The National Church was interested in our ministry and asked us to provide a report — which we did. (Report on Kiswahili Ministry) But on the local level, we received no recognition or encouragement. SEPA Synod’s eyes were on the prize, and the prize was our property/assets.

This brings us to the third specially considered memorial by the National Assembly.

3. Bullying and Harrassment

The Assembly approved a resolution addressing bullying, harassment and related violence and urged Congregational and Synodical Mission to collaborate in addressing and preventing bullying and harassment.

Redeemer has been the victim of synodical bullying for years, escalating to litigation in 2008 and seizure of our property in 2009. As is often the case in bullying, onlookers — our sister congregations and the national church — have done very little to stop this. No reason to say more here. See our post:

What to expect when the Church is given license to bully