Weathering the Storm or System
Yesterday, the Southeastern Pennsylvania Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America announced an upcoming workshop for congregations. We first saw this listed as Weathering the Storm, but notice it is now advertised as Weathering the System.
Weathering the System
October 27, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
St. John’s Lutheran Church
505 North York Road, Hatboro, PA 19040
The six-hour workshop on conflict resolution is advertised as conflict transformation.
A buzzword unused is an opportunity squandered.
How do you weather a storm?
Make sure you win! Winning, at any cost, even at the expense of mission, outranks problem-solving in today’s church leadership. As one leading businessman wrote today, “It’s because defeat and power and humiliation and money have replaced ‘doing what works for all of us.'”
Although the names of presenters are not posted, you will learn from the best. The Southeastern Pennsylvania Synod of the Lutheran Church in America, has been involved in years and years of conflict. They know the ropes!
Topics within synod’s expertise include:
- how to create and define conflict using deceit
- intimidating the opposition
- exploiting vulnerable volunteers
- how to identify which volunteers to eliminate to ensure victory
- discouraging lay involvement to assure managerial success
- how to pit clergy against laity to maximize success
- guidelines for effective use of inflammatory language
- when to apply the constitutions
- when to ignore the constitutions
- how to use Roberts’ Rules of Order
- how to ignore Roberts’ Rules of Order
- isolating the opposition from the rest of the Church
- divide and conquer: tried and true techniques to guarantee divisiveness
- tips for withholding professional services while appearing to serve
- demonizing your opposition
- use of litigation as a management tool
- ignoring facts that do not serve your purpose
- how to use partial truths to gain popular support
- when to lie unabashedly
- best practices in name-calling and finger-pointing
- how to camouflage objectives with semantics
- use of charm and charisma to deflect attention from the issues
- how to keep knowledgeable people from asking questions
- when and how to declare your opponents as non-existent
- the underestimated value and strategic use of prejudice
- creative use of statistics
- techniques for silencing opposition
- maximizing the “gotcha” factor
- when and how to ignore Gospel imperatives
- counting coup: the proper way to celebrate victory
The announcement quotes a former participant:
“Conflict and stress are a part of life. Both can be positive. It’s all in how you deal with it.”
Don’t miss the upcoming workshop. Learn how to deal with conflict from the masters!
Update: a subsequent announcement names The Rev. Dr. Jennifer Phelps Ollikainen of Liberty Lutheran as the presenter. Liberty Lutheran is independent of SEPA Synod, so content may actually be helpful!