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Children in Worship

Where Do Youth Fare Best? Large or Small Churches?

This question showed up in the Search Engine data. It deserves exploration.

Children and youth can be served well in either setting. It depends on the child and the sensitivity of the ministry (large or small) to the needs of its children and youth. It is not unlike other life choices. Some people thrive on the bustle of city life; others thrive on the slower pace of the country.

The strength of the larger church is the ability to create group dynamics. Many youth relate well in groups. Young people want group acceptance. But the group can become the only channel for youth participation.

Group dynamics can be a nightmare! Some youth might find themselves feeling very much alone as group misfits.

Larger churches can present more opportunities for service and activities but they also can create or perpetuate the same cliques and social challenges children face every day in school.

If all the children in a church go to the same school, church can become an extension of the society as established in their lives five days a week. It can be great for some and crippling to others.

Adult leadership makes a huge difference. Adult leaders who feed into youth culture rather than nurturing or guiding youth can be problematic.

Small churches offer less structure. The emphasis is on the individual child and nurturing his or her unique gifts independent of group dynamics.

Children in small churches have a very hands-on relationship with their church community. They are encouraged to adopt independent leadership roles and find their own mentors among any number of adults in the parish — not just the youth leaders or a youth pastor.

Since there is often no age-specific group, children in small churches learn to relate to Christian community with both older and younger members.

In one small church we visited, we watched a young teen gather three or four younger boys in the congregation and shepherd them to the front of the church for prayer.

In another church, members encouraged the pastor to visit the parents of a young boy who had attended church by himself for years. They hoped the pastor could encourage the parents to come with their son. The pastor reported that the boy didn’t want his parents to come. He felt picked on at home and in school. Church was the one place in his life where he felt important and safe.

Of course, that scenario presents challenges to a church in helping both the boy and parents overcome dysfunction, but it illustrates the treasure the small church can be.

The challenge for small churches is to not compare themselves to large churches and value their role in nurturing each child within the community.

The challenge to larger churches is to be inclusive of all the children and youth and to be alert to group dynamics so that the church environment is pleasant for all.

But which is best?

Children thrive where they are loved. That’s something all churches can do.

How does your church involve your young people?

photo credit: tHis1tRik4U via photopin cc
18 Apr 2012

The Benefits of Welcoming Children to Worship

Why should children worship with adults?

This topic is drawing a good bit of search engine interest, so let’s address it.

2×2, comprised of members of Redeemer Lutheran Church, East Falls, has visited 42 Lutheran churches in the last 18 months. (We have been able to do this because our denomination locked our congregation out of our church and stripped us of any status or voice in the ELCA as it claimed our property and endowment funds.)

We found the status of children and youth in worship to be shocking.

In most of the churches we visited, the number of children present was few to none, with even weaker statistics for youth.

Most churches are fashioning the worship experience for adults only and dismiss children very early in the service.

This was new to 2×2 because children were always very much a part of our worship and were part of our growth spurt in 2006 and 2007.

We’ve been reading another congregation’s chronicle of their growth which parallels the Redeemer experience.

We are going to compare some major points from this book with our experience over a series of posts.

The first is the experience with children in worship. The book is Scattering Seeds: Cultivating Church Vitality by Stephen Chapin Garner and Jerry Thornell of the United Church of Christ in Norwell, Massachusetts.

When this church began to rethink its ministry, children worshiped separately from adults.

2×2 Ambassadors discovered that this structure has become popular in Lutheran churches in the Philadelphia area as well. This goes against Lutheran philosophy which values the concept of corporate worship being the expression of all the gathered people of God.

We suspect that this key concept of Lutheranism has been abandoned for trendy reasons.

Parents want children to have Sunday School training but do not want to attend education offerings for adults. Answer: teach the kids while the parents worship. Kill two birds with one short hour of church commitment.

The long-term drawbacks of this practice are many:

  1. Children first encounter worship at an age when it will all seem foreign.
  2. Children will get the idea that worship is for other people.
  3. If there is a gap in children’s education from the young elementary years and adolescents, teenagers will be entering church at a time in their lives when they are most critical of institutions and adults around them.
  4. The adults who teach the children never get to worship.
  5. The adults leading worship are distanced from their congregation’s educational offerings.
  6. Adults attending worship do not participate in learning and are less likely to grow in faith and church commitment.
  7. The worshiping body continues to be designed around the preferences of adults and fails to mature and change with input from younger members. It therefore becomes more archaic, which might not be noticed by your congregants, but will be noticed by visitors or children attempting to become involved at a later age.

The Scattering Seeds church decided to change this and stopped offering classes during worship. They encouraged families to worship together.

Pastor Garner tells of his congregation’s initial resistance. The parents complained that it was a strain to get the family out the door on the one day of the week when they wanted to enjoy leisure. (He also notes that one of the biggest complainers had no trouble rolling the kids out at 5 am for hockey practice on Sunday mornings.)

Another reason: parents want to leave religious nurturing of their children to others. Martin Luther would be rolling over in his grave! He taught that religious instruction is the primary responsibility of parents and wrote his catechism to help them.

Still another reason is that many adults are uncomfortable with religious education. They view their confirmation as graduation from religious learning.

The Scattering Seeds church is still working at this, reporting mixed results with significant early successes.

  • Worship was a bit more chaotic at first as children got used to participating. After about a month, families with children had settled in. Children knew what was expected and adults developed a tolerance for the occasional fussy child.
  • Their biggest success was that youth were soon part of worship. As children matured they felt comfortable taking on new roles in worship and continued to attend after their confirmation.
  • The most difficult hurdle, they report, was accustoming adults to the idea that they, too, should participate in religious education.

2×2 had discovered many of the same things. Our children often outnumbered adults in worship and were comfortable in many leadership roles. It was not unusual for children to volunteer and let adults know they were ready for more responsibility.

Adults met for worship during the week. At first it was the ladies of the church but men were beginning to stop by and participate as well.

Scattering Seeds reports that their new mantra, Education for All and Worship for All, is making a difference in their church growth and has even resulted in higher giving.

It’s worth exploring!

22 Mar 2012

Google Insights Can Reveal Ministry Opportunity

As we explore and learn social media, we turned this weekend to a fairly new social media tool, Google Insights. This tool measures internet activity revolving around key words.

We plugged in key words of topics that interest us to see if they interest anyone else.

We searched for interest in “social media ministry.” The graph that pops up with amazing speed reflects our experience. We have long known that our readers are interested in this topic.

Goggle Insights Results for "Social Media Ministry"

We plugged in “children’s ministry” and “family ministry.” The results showed a decline in interest — not dramatic but decidedly so-so. We experienced the same results with our posts on ministry for children. We have also noted that ministry to children is neglected in many of the churches we visit.

Then we plugged in “multicultural ministry.” This is a topic that the our denomination has announced is a priority. The Google Insights graph revealed a flat line with sharp and short-lived spikes occurring about annually. There is only sporadic interest in this topic!

Google Insights Results for "Multicultural Ministry"

What does this tell us? There are a few possibilities.

  1. If multicultural ministry is a goal, groundwork must be laid. The Church is starting from scratch with this concept. Awareness of multicultural ministry challenges and opportunities must be promoted.
  2. Multicultural Ministry will be an uphill effort. Measurable success may be a long way off. Success might be fleeting.
  3. Other things concern congregations more. Any effort at Multicultural Ministry is likely to take a back seat.
  4. Leadership must be developed for this type of ministry.

The data fails to inform in some areas. It measures only interest — not need.

Why are there occasional, sharp spikes? Was there some event at that time that raised momentary interest?

The value of these “insights” is in what the Church does with the data.

  • Opportunities must be identified.
  • Churches and leaders must have some training and leadership.
  • Instant results should not be expected.
  • Since, there is so little interest, there is likely little experience. All ideas and efforts need to be given a chance.
12 Feb 2012

How Old Should Children Be in Worship?

Our Ambassador visits have revealed that there are very few children in worship. Often when there are children at the beginning of worship, they disappear after the opening ten minutes, sometimes with the explanation that they are leaving to attend age-appropriate activities.

How old should children be to participate in worship with the whole family of God?

Can infants worship with adults?

Infants are attracted to light, faces and music. Colored lights gleam through church windows. Faces of their families surround them and there are new faces to study as they look over their parents’ shoulders at the people in the pew behind them. They hear the organ or praise band and can both feel and hear the voice of the person holding them in worship. Infants belong in worship.

Can toddlers and nursery children worship with adults?

Toddlers can be active and distracting but toddlers notice everything. Toddlers are learning to sing and listen to stories. Worship is filled with songs and stories. Toddlers imitate what they see. Church is a place where their worlds begin to grow. They are beginning to realize that there are more people in the world who love them than just those who live with them. They are true believers. They have a deep understanding of God. Their simple faith will one day be challenged. A firm foundation and acceptance within the family of God will help them weather the challenges. Behavioral issues will be short-lived as they come to understand worship as part of life that is not focused on them. Nursery children belong in church.

Can kindergarten age children worship with adults? 

Kindergarten-aged children are proud that they are growing up. They are eager to take on the roles they see older children playing. They sing with ease and memorize quickly. They will learn the liturgies and hymns with repetition even before they can read the words. They have a profound spirituality and can understand that God loves them and Jesus is a special friend. Kindergarteners need to be where they can experience worship as modeled by older Christians. They belong in church.

Can elementary-aged children worship with adults?

Elementary-aged children are eager to learn new skills. They can read and are learning to follow music. Some are learning musical instruments and beginning to sing harmony. They like a good story. They are starting to understand the Bible and will recognize passages of scripture in worship and begin to see the words of scripture placed in context of community. They are starting to grapple with complex ideas. They are able to understand the concept of service and giving. They can understand that their younger siblings are watching and that they are setting an example. They belong in church.

Can middle-school children worship with adults?

Middle school children are hands-on learners. They can play many important roles in a worship service. They are beginning to master musical instruments and can sing complicated music. They can begin adopting a more serious decorum as they serve beside adult mentors. They are questioning their place in the world and need to be among strong, nurturing role models. They not only need to be in worship with adults but they need to begin working with adults.

How about teens? Can teens be part of worship?

If teens have not been in worship as younger children they will have more difficulty understanding worship or making it part of their lives at this exciting stage of life. Teens are stretching the limits and beginning to break away from their parents. They need to find role models outside their family. The church can be a place where they can begin to express themselves. They can test their interests and skills and try out their new understandings of self. Their reasoning skills are maturing and they need to practice them. How much they want to be part of things may depend on how they are accepted and welcomed. Teens belong in worship.

Worship is for the whole family of God. If we place an age on acceptance in worship, we exclude part of the family and limit the possibilities for worship for all. Change will be harder to implement. Worship can become more rigid as expressions will be geared to the older spectrum of the community. Children may wonder when they will ever fit in and find it easier to drift at the first opportunity.

06 Jan 2012

How Long Should A Children’s Sermon Be?

Someone plugged this question into a search engine and found 2×2. So here’s an answer:

The length of a children’s sermon depends on what you hope to accomplish with the children and the congregation. Five minutes is enough if all you plan to do is give very young children some attention during a one-hour service.

A shorter sermon is also appropriate if you are “talking at” the children. In other posts, we have advocated for using children sermon time to accomplish much more.

The children’s sermon can be learning time for the entire congregation and can help fill huge gaps in education that churches are encountering as Sunday School attendance drops and becomes more sporadic.

A children’s sermon can be used to introduce new concepts to everyone listening and grow your congregation’s skills as a worshiping community.

Here’s a format that expands the function of the children’s sermon and involves the congregation in this part of the service.

  • 1-2 minutes
    Take a moment to make the children comfortable. Ask a few questions? Were they part of an event at church during the week?  Is there anyone or anything you can pray for later on?
  • 1-2 minutes
    Tie the message to the scriptures of the day. In this case, the sermon time should be delivered after the scriptures. Ask the children if they were listening and refer to the lessons. Over time, this will encourage them to listen to scripture readings.
  • 3 minutes
    Present the body of your message. This is the meat of your sermon.
  • 1-2 minutes
    Pray with the children. Use various formats and involve the children.
  • 3 minutes
    Teach something. Sing a hymn together. Give the children an assignment for the next week. Ask them to listen for something that is going to happen later in the service. Introduce a member of the congregation that the children may not know. For example, if there is an upcoming congregational event, introduce the lay leader of the event and invite that person to talk to the children about their project. Make this interactive time. Involve the entire congregation. Remember, everyone is listening!
  • Dismissal
    If your children will remain in the service, this might be the best time to hand them a children’s bulletin insert tied to the day’s theme. It will occupy their attention in a related way as the adult sermon is playing out.

This format takes about 10-12 minutes. That may seem like a lot, but it is a short amount of time that can reap big rewards. Your children will feel less on display and more part of congregational life. New relationships within the congregation will be forged.

27 Dec 2011

12 Days of Christmas — Fun or Significant?

There is a minor debate on the internet over whether the  Christmas song, The 12 Days of Christmas, is a centuries old song sung just for fun or if it was a secret way of teaching the fundamentals of the Christian faith at a time when teaching the Catechism might have cost you your life.

The internet watchdogs point to the publication of the song in England in the 18th century with the tune predating it to France. It was nothing but a children’s game set to music, they say with certainty. But then if the message was so secret that it might have cost a person freedom or life, they wouldn’t dare tell anyone . . . so who knows.

Whether rooted in history or not, it is fun to think of religious truths when singing the song. It can even help you remember whether it is nine lords aleaping or nine ladies dancing. So why not use it to teach!

For those who want to give religious meaning to a secular song, here are the meanings some people assign to the 12 crazy Christmas gifts. If nothing else, they make an endless trivial song a bit more interesting!

  • 1 The Partridge in the Pear Tree is Jesus Christ, the Son of God
  • 2 Turtle Doves represent the Old and New Testaments
  • 3 French Hens represent the Virtues—Faith, Hope and Charity
  • 4 Calling Birds represent the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists
  • 5 Golden Rings represent The first Five Books of the Old Testament, the “Pentateuch”
  • 6 Geese A-laying represent the six days of creation
  • 7 Swans A-swimming represent the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit (wisdom, understanding, wonder, right judgment, knowledge, courage, and reverence)
  • 8 Maids A-milking represent the eight beatitudes
  • 9 Ladies Dancing represent the nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit (love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control)
  • 10 Lords A-leaping represent the ten commandments
  • 11 Pipers Piping represent the eleven faithful apostles
  • 12 Drummers Drumming represent the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle’s Creed
24 Dec 2011

Nurturing the Gift of Hospitality in Young Christians

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Mark 10:13-15

Our Ambassador visits reveal a remarkable variety of approaches to what seems to be the simple task of welcoming. Some assign the task to official greeters; others let the pastor handle it. Some ask visitors to introduce themselves; some point you to the guest book. Some church members wear name tags. Some offer coffee and sweets; others offer a meal.

There is a sense that this can be a challenge to congregations, especially when visitors have been rare for a while. While our Ambassadors cannot claim that they ever have been made to feel unwelcome, there are some churches who have honed their greeting skills a bit more than others.

We suspect one of the congregations we visited was conscious that this might be a weak point in their ministry. The bulletin included a prayer petition that their congregation “may learn the hospitality of Scripture and welcome our friends, family and guests with it.” Interestingly, while the congregation was entirely pleasant in passing the peace and saying hello, not a soul introduced themselves–not even the pastor. In contrast, on another visit to a church where the pastor was away, we were greeted first on the sidewalk and by virtually every person who walked into the sanctuary. We were even offered a tour after the service. We knew the names of several members before worship began. Their liturgy included a moment early in the service for welcoming. Hospitality clearly had been modeled and engrained in this community for some time.

As in much of church work there is a temptation to create a program for encouraging hospitality. It should be as simple as modeling good habits. Start with the children!

Redeemer Lutheran in the East Falls neighborhood of Philadelphia, had a strong ministry to East African immigrants. Upon entering the home of one of our immigrant families, every family member comes to the door and shakes your hand. It was not surprising to see even the youngest children practicing this skill in church. It gave them a confidence that grew and soon translated into other skills.

This custom, brought to us from a foreign land, flies in the face of America’s best parenting practices.
We teach our children “don’t talk to strangers.” Adults tend to model what they teach their children. Our children can grow into adults who are afraid to reach out to shake hands and say the simplest words of introduction, “Hello. Welcome to our church. I am Tom. What is your name?”

This simple script is a recipe for teaching the fundamentals of hospitality. Begin to teach your congregation welcoming skills by teaching this script to your children.

  • Give a children’s sermon on “welcoming.” There are many scriptures to use as a foundation, including the “Suffer the little children” passage quoted above from the NIV translation.
  • As an exercise, ask the children to shake one another’s hands and follow the script. Allow enough time for them to get over the awkward giggles.
  • When they have greeted every child. Ask them to walk down the aisle and practice it with adults. Ask older children to walk beside them to help them.
  • Ask the adults to turn to the person next to them and practice.
  • Repeat as needed.

Give the congregation the assignment of doing this every week with every visitor. Make sure they see church leaders practicing what they preach! If visitors are rare, practice on the people you know. Be ready to greet the first new face!

14 Dec 2011

Small Churches Can Reach Out to Unaccompanied Children

Our Ambassador visits have revealed some stereo-types of small churches. We heard some professional leaders referring to them mockingly as “old-folks homes.”

Offensive as this terminology is — some congregations are aging. Unfortunately, leadership mindset sees this as the end of ministry. Pastors adopt, sometimes with the encouragement of denominational leadership, a caretaker approach to serving. There are no plans for growing the church or any reason to look for mission opportunity. They are playing a waiting game.

It may be up to the laity to turn things around.

Our ambassadors have seen some small, aging churches making the transition to becoming welcoming places for families and children. They invariably have only supply pastors or part-time professional leadership. Imagine what might happen if the leadership saw this as a door opening for ministry.

Our own church made this transition and grew from a church of seniors to a church of young families.

Our transition began when we noticed a number of children returning week after week without parents. At first a couple of girls (about aged 10) came and sat in the front row. After a few weeks, they brought an older brother (about 12). Soon they started bringing younger children.

We weren’t prepared to deal with this. That’s not the way church works! Parents bring their children to Church and Sunday School.

Things have changed!

We have noticed some similarities in other churches we visited. The early focus of our visits was the urban church. In cities, children pass the church as they walk home from school. Curiosity brings them back. Yes, their parents should accompany them. But children are playing the cards they have been dealt. They may come from homes with only one over-taxed parent. The parent may know the children have gone to church and consider it baby-sitting, or the parent may be at work unaware of that their children have turned off the TV and wandered out on their own. In the worst case, the parents may not care. In that case, the church must not turn their backs on the children because they have arrived on their doorstep in an unconventional way. Small churches with aging memberships can be particularly attractive to children who are seeking.

Young children have some things in common with older folks. They are crossing paths in life. Children are dependent growing into independence and older folks are independent growing into dependency. Young children often like the attention of seniors who can understand them in a way their parents don’t. They have time for them when their parents are preoccupied. It is validating to seniors.

Congregations can see this as a nuisance that must curtailed, or they can see it as outreach coming to them.

There are good reasons to discourage unaccompanied children.

  • They do not contribute to the offering.
  • They do not behave.
  • They are lively, energetic and strong and may seem threatening to the frail.
  • They may be there only only for donuts at fellowship.
  • Raising them is the responsibility of the parents.

Or

  • They may, in their own ways, be seeking.
  • They may enjoy the music.
  • Older children (as young as 11 or 12) may have been left in charge of yournger siblings and are following an instinct to parent them.
  • They might might feel part of a family of God when their own family is dysfunctional.
  • Raising them is the responsibility of the community of God.

Here are some first steps to take when children start coming to church by themselves.

  • Make sure an adult sits nearby, perhaps in the pew behind them.
  • Teach the church service. Pastors can give a brief explanation as your worship moves along. The adult sitting near them can whisper in their ears. “We are now going to stand to honor the reading of the Gospel that tells us about the life of Jesus Christ.”
  • Engage the children in conversation. Find out where they live and who their parents are.
  • Plan to visit their homes with the pastor. You may be hitting a brick wall, but you may find a parent receptive to help. At the very least, the parents should know with whom their children spend Sunday mornings.
  • Pray for them. Assign each child to an adult as a prayer partner. Engage the children in the prayer if possible, but they don’t need to know you are praying for them!
06 Dec 2011

How Important Are Our Children in Our Ministries?

As we researched the topic of Children in Worship we looked online for training or seminary programs specializing in chlldren’s ministry. We wanted to see what they had to offer on this topic.

We went to search engines and plugged in various combinations of key words — words like “seminary training for children’s ministry.” We found practically nothing — only a handful of seminars offered by independent religious trainers.

The closest matches were for youth ministers. Some denominations had a category called Children, Youth and Family Ministry.

It would appear that ministry to children is uncharted territory as a discipline of ministry.

Preaching to children does not appear to be an emphasis of theological training. We found a salary study that revealed that Associates in Ministry were sometimes filling this role. Salary packages were fairly low and have dropped in recent years.

Congregations do not tend to budget for Children’s Ministry. As congregations grow, the typical progression of staff development begins with a solo pastor and adding a visitation pastor (most likely concentrating on the elderly), and then adding an associate pastor who may double as youth pastor. The allocation of resources for children’s ministries is almost nonexistent.

The Church has traditionally relied on volunteers to provide leadership for teaching children. This approach is challenged by modern lifestyles — working parents and divorced parents all have less ability to commit their weekends. The volunteer pool is shallow. The need is greater than ever.

Small churches are the most challenged. Many cannot afford one full-time pastor much less pastors emphasizing children’s ministry. Any specialized help for children’s ministry is an unrealistic goal. Yet this is precisely the area of ministry small churches need to emphasize. Often, we do not get much encouragement from our denominations. They see a congregation with aging members and they determine that what these congregations need is a part-time pastor to tend to the needs of the elderly. They even have a term for it — caretaker ministries. While the needs of the aging must not be neglected, failure to concentrate on the potential of a congregation to reach young people in their neighborhoods is squandering opportunity.

The times are crying for a new approach to neighborhood ministry, but we seem to be locked into the mindset that teaching children should be the realm of volunteers and any programming should be run on shoestring budgets (in other words $0).

2×2 developed a program pioneering ministry to answer this need in aging congregations. We focused on beginning with summer outreach — the Vacation Bible School (www.vbsaid.com). This would be a short-term investment, something any church could try without fear of not being able to support it long-term.

VBSaid would bring a team of trained leaders to small congregations to lead a summer program and train congregational members to continue the programming, spending several months with each church to recruit teachers, students, provide training, run a two-week program, and work with each church to plan followup programming. The proposed cost was modest for the type of help offered — about $5000 per church. Calling a pastor dedicated to this type of work would cost at least $30,000.

Our first advertising for this program last summer drew responses from several congregations. None wanted to fund it. And so these congregations went another year without reaching out to the young.

We suspect that the Church is getting what it is willing to pay for. Sunday Schools are failing, VBS programs are being abandoned. Educational efforts are being fit into 40 minutes during worship. Congregations barely 100 years old are aging themselves out of existence without a viable plan to reach new generations with the Good News.

It is engrained in our thinking that successful mission must be done the way it was done for years. We are more willing to accept congregations failing than to find solutions. Nevertheless, 2×2 will continue to explore solutions. We invite your observations.

03 Dec 2011

Worship with Children Is Quality Family Time

The need for worship is innate. The sense that we are part of something bigger than ourselves dates to Adam and Eve.

Children have this sense of wonder which is at the core of spirituality. Everything in life is big and powerful. The adults in their lives must teach them to encounter and embrace their sense of wonder. An alternative is to allow them to grow into adulthood living in fear and confusion about all things beyond their control.

Secular culture is geared to avoiding this, filling every waking minute with some form of self-gratifying, self-improving or money-making activity. Such activities have value, no doubt, but it is easy to be swept up in the “importance” of all this activity.

If a child’s natural sense of awe is not nurtured from their earliest years, it will be replaced in their youth with “busy-ness” that is easier to process emotionally. The easy temptation is to replace what is difficult to understand with activities in which rewards are tangible and immediate. There are so many activities to choose from. You win the soccer game and feel good; you lose and feel bad and direct your attention to winning next time. There is always that hope of bringing home a trophy.

Religion is more complex — but then so is life!

Often it takes a catastrophe — personal or national — to bring us to our knees. If our children have no experience in seeking spiritual help, they will be lost when crises occur.

In our Ambassador visits we have been surprised at the number of churches that dismiss children from worship before the scriptures are read (a large majority). One pastor announced that the children may now leave to attend age-appropriate activities. With the very few number of tweens and teens we encounter in church, we wonder if this approach is helpful in building Christian community.

When we dismiss children from worship, we are teaching them to expect the focus to be on them. At what age should that stop? Furthermore, worship becomes “something adults do.” Why do we treat worship as if it were an R-rated movie?

We also wonder how this practice affects the worshiping community as adults forsake worship to tend to the children. One church we visited emptied by half ten minutes into the service. A good number of mothers followed the children out of the sanctuary.

Worship has no age requirements.

There is something very special about time spent in worship with your children. It can be frustrating at first, as they squirm and fuss, but children soon learn that worship is time when the focus is not on them. They come to first accept this and later to participate. For this transition to take place, they must be present!

Parents should value the chance to sit with their children, perhaps with one in their laps and an arm across the shoulders of another. The opportunity for chldren to hear their parents voices raised in song, to see their fathers and mothers kneeling in silent prayer, or to hear the words of confession or prayer coming from their lips is invaluable to their own spiritual development. They will observe at first, just as a baby observes from its crib. But the day comes very quickly when they join in singing, prayer and understanding. Children in worship are learning to know their parents in a way they will encounter nowhere else. They are coming to know the family and presence of God.

Worship is exactly what so many parents seek — quality family time.

02 Dec 2011