Where Do Youth Fare Best? Large or Small Churches?
This question showed up in the Search Engine data. It deserves exploration.
Children and youth can be served well in either setting. It depends on the child and the sensitivity of the ministry (large or small) to the needs of its children and youth. It is not unlike other life choices. Some people thrive on the bustle of city life; others thrive on the slower pace of the country.
The strength of the larger church is the ability to create group dynamics. Many youth relate well in groups. Young people want group acceptance. But the group can become the only channel for youth participation.
Group dynamics can be a nightmare! Some youth might find themselves feeling very much alone as group misfits.
Larger churches can present more opportunities for service and activities but they also can create or perpetuate the same cliques and social challenges children face every day in school.
If all the children in a church go to the same school, church can become an extension of the society as established in their lives five days a week. It can be great for some and crippling to others.
Adult leadership makes a huge difference. Adult leaders who feed into youth culture rather than nurturing or guiding youth can be problematic.
Small churches offer less structure. The emphasis is on the individual child and nurturing his or her unique gifts independent of group dynamics.
Children in small churches have a very hands-on relationship with their church community. They are encouraged to adopt independent leadership roles and find their own mentors among any number of adults in the parish — not just the youth leaders or a youth pastor.
Since there is often no age-specific group, children in small churches learn to relate to Christian community with both older and younger members.
In one small church we visited, we watched a young teen gather three or four younger boys in the congregation and shepherd them to the front of the church for prayer.
In another church, members encouraged the pastor to visit the parents of a young boy who had attended church by himself for years. They hoped the pastor could encourage the parents to come with their son. The pastor reported that the boy didn’t want his parents to come. He felt picked on at home and in school. Church was the one place in his life where he felt important and safe.
Of course, that scenario presents challenges to a church in helping both the boy and parents overcome dysfunction, but it illustrates the treasure the small church can be.
The challenge for small churches is to not compare themselves to large churches and value their role in nurturing each child within the community.
The challenge to larger churches is to be inclusive of all the children and youth and to be alert to group dynamics so that the church environment is pleasant for all.
But which is best?
Children thrive where they are loved. That’s something all churches can do.
How does your church involve your young people?