Random Acts of Kindness
The last of the five steps recommended by The Happiness Advantage author, Shawn Achor is to practice random acts of kindness.
What fun!
Achor starts by explaining that this is as simple as smiling at the person you pass on the street or in a public hallway. He recommends the 10-5 rule. Make eye contact and smile at everyone who comes within 10 feet. Greet anyone who comes within five feet of you.
He claims remarkable results. The idea was tested by a hospital. The program was implemented over the objection of doctors who considered it beneath their dignity.
The result: happiness spread—even among the doctors who resisted. Soon, the hospital gained a reputation of being a pleasant place that people chose to visit and staff opted to stay even when offered more lucrative positions elsewhere.
Similarly, there is a management technique that grew from the hotel industry. If a guest brings you a problem, you own the problem until it is solved — even if it’s not your job. This can be effective in any setting. In most grocery stores, a customer who asks where they will find the canned vegetables is told, “Uh, try Aisle 8.” In a popular grocery store, the employee (who might be stocking shelves or coming back from break) answers a customer query like this: “I’ll show you! Please follow me!” It makes a difference.
How does this apply to church life?
Our Ambassador visits reveal friendliness is harder than it sounds. Sometimes we stand as wall flowers in the church narthex as people pass by never making eye contact.
The most genuinely friendly church we visited was a small congregation, St. Michael’s in Fishtown. People greeted us on the street before we entered. Virtually every member approached us. The service had a greeting section built into the worship service. Friendliness is part of their culture.
A larger church, St. Paul’s in Ardmore, had an official greeting station, staffed by volunteers. They met us as we entered the sanctuary and even offered us a mug filled with candy as we left.
Both are good options, but one makes “friendliness” the job of a few. The other weaves it into their entire church life.
Churches of any size can be awkward at the social graces. Not just the laity! Often, pastors make no attempt to circulate during fellowship, often staying in a hallway or the sanctuary chatting with just one or two members.
Achor’s ideas might help us get over that. Start by enlisting and training leaders. Modeling by the pastor and lay leaders will go a long way to making it part of a congregation’s culture.
In addition to the personal greeting there is the power of greeting cards. Redeemer uses cards. We send about three a week. Our Ambassadors usually follow visits with custom greeting cards. Think what a card in the mail means to leaders, students, homebound or elderly.
Random acts of kindness can be so simple. In one church visited by our Ambassadors an older woman made it her duty to sit near us and guide us through the service. It was a lovely gesture.
It is tempting to list some acts of kindness, but listing them makes them self-serving and diminishes their value as spontaneous and heartfelt. Start with eye contact and a word of greeting and let kindness flow.
Remember: give it three months before evaluating!
photo credit: Nina Matthews Photography via photo pin cc (retouched)
